The Only Way Forward Was Through Words
Here's something I've learned about myself during this author journey that I hadn’t experienced working in Corporate America: I can make procrastination look a lot like actual work.
For months—literally months—I've been outlining new chapters. Reorganizing my desk. Tracking down the perfect To-Do List notebook. Color-coding scene cards in DabbleWriter (my writing software). Posting all about it on social media.
The truth is, I’ve been having a hard time getting out of my own way and reimagining my book in a different way. This is no secret. I’ve been very honest about my lack of progress in the last few months.
My developmental editor’s feedback, which kicked off this round of revisions, wasn't dramatic. She didn't tell me to rewrite the book. She recommended that I restructure it a bit and compress what would've stretched across the whole novel into Act I, and find ways to weave the history I'd laid out chronologically into Act II instead. On paper, that sounds manageable. In practice? It broke my brain.
The thing about restructuring is that it required me to look at the story I've been living inside and remind myself that nothing I wrote is set in stone. Every scene I'd written, every chapter I'd agonized over—it’s not real! It’s fiction! It can be changed! And I kept forgetting that. I kept thinking about my manuscript like a published novel that couldn’t be changed instead of looking at it for what it was: a first draft.
So I was stuck. I was chasing my tail. Productive but not moving.
Then my author friend, Sara Revsin, who I met at the History Through Fiction conference earlier this year, told our little writers group about the #1000wordsofsummer challenge. The premise is simple: write 1,000 new words every day for two weeks. That's it. Ha! So much easier said than done, but it wouldn’t be called a challenge if it was going to be easy!
I decided to take those two weeks to step away from the outline entirely. I didn’t even want to think about it. I just wanted to focus on writing a few of the new chapters I had built up in my head in recent weeks. Actually write them. Not just think about writing them.
It was exactly what I needed.
I remembered something I'd forgotten somewhere between my editor's notes and my own self-doubt: I love this. I love being transported into the world I'm building. I love the way writing fiction gives me permission to invent my way out of every corner. I had missed the actual writing of this book, and I hadn't realized how much until I gave myself space to do it again.
The challenge wasn't easy. It started on the day we were set to leave Montana and head back to Tennessee, which meant I had to draft my 1,000 words before the demands of the travel day had a chance to take over. And I managed to do that every single day until the very last day of the challenge when I didn’t prioritize the words and they got away from me. I drafted 13,000+ words in two weeks. That’s roughly 15% of my manuscript (hope that’s right b/c math isn’t my strong suit)! I'm calling that a win.
And here's the payoff: during a neighborhood walk yesterday, it clicked. I finally saw how the scenes could fit together. The outline that has been such a puzzle for so long is finally taking shape.
My goal is still to finish this draft by September. That's ambitious given the summer we have planned, and I know the 4 a.m. alarm is going to be more important than ever. But I'm back in the story. I'm moving again.
Sometimes the only way out of your own head is to stop planning and start doing. Even if it's imperfect.